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How to Write the Johns Hopkins University Essay 2024-2025
Johns Hopkins University has just one supplemental essay, which all applicants are required to respond to. However, while other schools you’re applying to may have more supplements, you want to make sure you dedicate enough time to this essay, as Hopkins is one of the most competitive schools in the country, especially for students interested in medicine.
In this post, we’ll break down how to brainstorm for and actually write your Hopkins essay, as well as common mistakes you want to be sure to avoid.
Read these Johns Hopkins essay examples to inspire your writing.
Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay Prompt
How has your life experience contributed to your personal story—your character, values, perspectives or skills—and what you want to pursue at hopkins (350 words).
Brainstorming Your Topic
This prompt is a version of the common Diversity Essay , with the added layer of explicitly connecting your identity to one of your goals for your time at Hopkins.
The first thing to note is that the way colleges factor race into their admissions processes is different after the Supreme Court struck down affirmative action in June 2023.
Colleges can still consider race on an individual level, however, so if you would like to respond to this prompt by talking about how your racial background has impacted you, you are welcome to do so.
You are also welcome to write about a wide range of other aspects of your identity; an individual is more than just their race, gender, sexuality, and other attributes that typically come to mind when you hear the word “diversity.” We are also shaped by the communities we’re in, the hobbies we enjoy, our interests, and so on. So, if you are having a hard time coming up with a topic for this prompt, shift to that line of thinking. Here are some examples of less traditional topics that could work:
- The people you see every day while walking your dog before school
- A group sea kayaking trip you did one summer
- Your passion for the color purple
The main requirement for your topic is that it has “contributed to your personal story,” per Hopkins’ request. There is one other thing you want to consider, though. Namely, can you connect this aspect of your identity to one of your goals for Hopkins?
Note that this connection doesn’t have to be direct. If your parents immigrated to the United States from Korea, you don’t have to write about wanting to do research on international migration with Professor Erin Chung. You can, of course, if you genuinely are interested in that line of research. But the connection you make can also be more nuanced.
For example, say that some of your relatives still in Korea don’t speak English, but you have developed a relationship with them through visits to museums and famous architectural sites, as you have a shared love of art. These experiences have shown you the unifying power of art, which is a phenomenon you’d like to explore more through Hopkins’ Renaissance Art History study abroad program in Florence.
Although this connection may not be one your reader was expecting, it works, as you explain it in a clear, easy-to-follow way. Plus, this essay is on the longer side for a supplement. You have 350 words at your disposal, so you have plenty of space to draw more sophisticated connections.
Tips for Writing Your Essay
If you have done your brainstorming well, writing the actual essay should be pretty straightforward: you want to describe the aspect of your identity you’re focusing on, and then connect it to the goal you’ve chosen to highlight. As just noted above, you have room to work with, so there’s no need to rush anything.
The only real rule here is that the connection you’re drawing is explained clearly. For a rather extreme example, if you just said “I have family in Korea, which makes me want to study abroad in Florence,” your reader would have no idea what you’re talking about. So, just make sure you’re able to articulate the link you see, so admissions officers understand how we got from A to B.
If you’re having a hard time with that, maybe take a step back from your essay, and come back the next day with a clear head. Sometimes, spending too much time on an essay will bog you down, and make it hard to see where to go next.
If you’re still having trouble the next day, you might want to return to the brainstorming stage, and either focus on a different aspect of your identity, or connect it to a different goal you have for college. There’s no shame in hitting rewind. Most students do at some point in their essay-writing process, as even topics that seem perfect at first can prove to be not quite right once you start trying to actually write about them.
Finally, like with any college essay, your writing will be stronger if you show, rather than tell. That means you want to rely on specific anecdotes and experiences to support your points, as that will make your essay more engaging. You can compare the two approaches below:
Telling: “I have quite a few family members still in Korea. Most of them live in Seoul, but some of them live in more remote areas.”
Showing: “I press my nose against the car window to get one last look at the glittering skyscrapers of Seoul, before my dad turns onto the winding, tree-lined road which leads to my uncle’s house.”
The information communicated is basically the same, but the showing approach paints us a picture, rather than reading us a list of facts like the telling approach. Because we are immersed in the student’s story, we feel much closer to them, and the whole point of college essays is to get admissions officers to understand who you are.
Mistakes to Avoid
The biggest potential pitfall here is answering the second half of the prompt (the “how your life experience…contributed to what you want to pursue at Hopkins” part) in a way that isn’t specific enough to Hopkins. This subset of the prompt is essentially a mini “Why This College?” essay, which means you don’t want to just share a goal you have for college in general, but rather something you hope to achieve at Hopkins specifically.
The examples above show the level of specificity you want to get to. Contrast those examples with vague versions of the same goals: “At Hopkins, I hope to research migration from Asia,” or “At Hopkins, I hope to do a study abroad program that will allow me to pursue my interest in art.” These goals would be fine to share with a family member at Thanksgiving, but for Hopkins admissions officers, they’re too general, as these are things you could do in some form at plenty of other schools around the country.
By going a level deeper, to a particular professor who does the kind of research you’re interested in, and a particular program that will allow you to study art, you show Hopkins admissions officers that you’ve really done your homework on their school, which gives them confidence you’re ready to hit the ground running when you arrive on campus.
If you’re not sure about how to get to this level of specificity, hop onto Hopkins’ website, and skim their course offerings, faculty directory, study abroad programs, club pages, and so on. Odds are, you’ll see something there that aligns with the general goal you’ve identified for yourself, which will take you from the big picture to the narrower focus you want.
Where to Get Your Johns Hopkins Essay Edited
Do you want feedback on your Johns Hopkins essay? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.
Need feedback faster? Get a free, nearly-instantaneous essay review from Sage, our AI tutor and advisor. Sage will rate your essay, give you suggestions for improvement, and summarize what admissions officers would take away from your writing. Use these tools to improve your chances of acceptance to your dream school!
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Crafting an Exceptional Personal Statement for Johns Hopkins University: A Comprehensive Guide
Are you dreaming of joining the prestigious Johns Hopkins University? Your personal statement could be the key that unlocks the door to this world-renowned institution. This critical component of your application offers a unique opportunity to showcase your personality, experiences, and aspirations beyond mere grades and test scores. In this guide, we'll explore the art of crafting a compelling personal statement that resonates with Johns Hopkins' admissions committee, helping you stand out in a sea of applicants. From understanding the essence of a personal statement to providing concrete examples, we'll walk you through every step of the process, ensuring you're well-equipped to create a narrative that truly reflects your journey and aligns with Johns Hopkins' values.
- Decoding the Personal Statement: Your Gateway to Johns Hopkins
A personal statement is more than just an essay; it's your chance to speak directly to the admissions committee. This crucial document allows you to paint a vivid picture of who you are, what drives you, and why you're an ideal fit for Johns Hopkins University. Unlike standardized test scores or transcripts, your personal statement offers a glimpse into your character, your passions, and your potential to contribute to the Johns Hopkins community.
Consider this: Johns Hopkins receives thousands of applications each year, many from students with impressive academic credentials. Your personal statement is your opportunity to rise above the statistics and connect on a human level. It's where you can share the story of how you overcame a significant challenge, developed a passion for research, or made a meaningful impact in your community. These narratives help the admissions committee understand not just what you've achieved, but who you are as a person.
The Pivotal Role of Personal Statements in University Applications
The personal statement plays a crucial role in the university application process, especially for a competitive institution like Johns Hopkins. It serves as a bridge between your quantitative achievements and your qualitative attributes. While your grades and test scores demonstrate your academic abilities, your personal statement reveals your character, creativity, and potential for growth.
For Johns Hopkins, known for its emphasis on research and innovation, your personal statement is an opportunity to demonstrate how you embody these values. It allows you to showcase your intellectual curiosity, your ability to think critically, and your readiness to contribute to the university's vibrant academic community. Moreover, it helps the admissions committee assess your writing skills, a crucial asset for success in any field of study at Johns Hopkins.
- Introducing Johns Hopkins University: A Beacon of Academic Excellence
Johns Hopkins University, founded in 1876, stands as America's first research university and continues to be at the forefront of innovation and discovery. Located in Baltimore, Maryland, Johns Hopkins has consistently ranked among the top universities globally, renowned for its rigorous academic programs, groundbreaking research, and commitment to improving the human condition.
The university's legacy is marked by numerous achievements and contributions to various fields. It's home to 29 Nobel laureates and has been a pioneer in medical research, with the Johns Hopkins Hospital setting standards in patient care worldwide. The university's Bloomberg School of Public Health has been instrumental in addressing global health challenges, while its School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) is a leading institution for international relations and global policy studies.
Johns Hopkins boasts a diverse student body of over 24,000 students from more than 120 countries, fostering a rich, multicultural learning environment. The university's commitment to interdisciplinary studies is evident in its unique "Krieger School of Arts and Sciences" and "Whiting School of Engineering," which encourage collaboration across different fields of study.
For prospective students, Johns Hopkins offers a wide array of academic programs, with particular strengths in medicine, engineering, public health, and international studies. The university's emphasis on research provides unparalleled opportunities for undergraduate students to engage in cutting-edge projects alongside world-renowned faculty members.
Is a Personal Statement Required for Johns Hopkins University Applications?
Yes, a personal statement is a crucial component of your application to Johns Hopkins University. The university places significant importance on this document as it provides insight into your personality, experiences, and aspirations that may not be evident from other parts of your application.
Johns Hopkins uses a holistic review process, meaning they consider all aspects of your application to form a comprehensive picture of you as a candidate. Your personal statement is a key element in this process, allowing you to showcase your unique qualities and explain why you're a great fit for Johns Hopkins. It's your opportunity to highlight your intellectual curiosity, passion for learning, and alignment with the university's values of innovation and discovery.
Remember, Johns Hopkins is looking for students who will contribute to their diverse and dynamic community. Your personal statement is your chance to demonstrate how you'll make the most of the opportunities at Johns Hopkins and how you'll contribute to the university's vibrant academic and social environment.
- Crafting Your Personal Statement for Johns Hopkins University: Key Strategies
When writing your personal statement for Johns Hopkins University, it's essential to keep in mind the institution's values and what they look for in potential students. Johns Hopkins values intellectual curiosity, innovation, and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world. Your personal statement should reflect these qualities while showcasing your unique experiences and perspectives.
Start by reflecting on your academic journey, extracurricular activities, and personal experiences that have shaped your interests and goals. Consider what draws you to Johns Hopkins specifically - is it the research opportunities, the interdisciplinary approach to education, or perhaps a particular program that aligns with your aspirations?
As you craft your narrative, focus on demonstrating your passion for learning and your ability to think critically. Johns Hopkins is known for its rigorous academic environment, so highlight experiences that show your readiness for this challenge. This could include discussing a complex project you undertook, a difficult problem you solved, or how you've pursued knowledge beyond the classroom.
Remember to be authentic in your writing. The admissions committee wants to get to know the real you, not a polished version you think they want to see. Share genuine experiences and insights that have shaped your academic and personal growth. Be specific and use concrete examples to illustrate your points.
Lastly, make sure to connect your experiences and aspirations to what Johns Hopkins offers. Research the university thoroughly and mention specific programs, research opportunities, or aspects of campus life that excite you. This shows the admissions committee that you've done your homework and can envision yourself as part of the Johns Hopkins community.
The Process of Crafting a Standout Personal Statement for Johns Hopkins University
Here's a step-by-step guide to help you write an impactful personal statement for Johns Hopkins University:
Brainstorm and Reflect : Start by jotting down significant experiences, achievements, and challenges that have shaped your academic journey and personal growth. Consider what aspects of your life story best demonstrate your fit for Johns Hopkins.
Research Johns Hopkins : Thoroughly explore the university's programs, research opportunities, and campus culture. Identify specific aspects that align with your goals and interests.
Outline Your Statement : Organize your ideas into a coherent structure. Typically, a personal statement includes an engaging opening, 2-3 body paragraphs highlighting key experiences or qualities, and a conclusion that ties everything together.
Write a Compelling Opening : Start with a hook that grabs the reader's attention. This could be an anecdote, a question, or a thought-provoking statement related to your academic passion or a significant life experience.
Develop Your Body Paragraphs : Each paragraph should focus on a specific experience, quality, or achievement. Use concrete examples to illustrate your points. Show how these experiences have prepared you for success at Johns Hopkins .
Demonstrate Your Fit : Throughout your statement, make connections between your experiences and Johns Hopkins' offerings. Explain why Johns Hopkins is the ideal place for you to pursue your academic and personal goals .
Craft a Strong Conclusion : Wrap up your statement by reiterating your enthusiasm for Johns Hopkins and your readiness to contribute to its community. Provide a forward-looking statement about how you hope to grow and achieve at the university .
Edit and Refine : Review your statement multiple times for clarity, coherence, and grammar. Ensure each sentence adds value to your narrative .
Seek Feedback : Have teachers, counselors, or trusted mentors review your statement. They may provide valuable insights or catch errors you've overlooked.
Final Polish : Make final revisions based on feedback, ensuring your statement is within the required word limit and truly represents your best self.
- Generate a Tailored Personal Statement for Johns Hopkins University with Gauth AI Personal Statement Writer
Gauth Personal Statement Writer is your ultimate tool for crafting a compelling personal statement tailored to Johns Hopkins University application. This tool simplifies the daunting process of writing a personal statement. With Gauth PS Writer, you can write a personal statement and craft a powerful narrative that reflects your unique journey and aspirations.
Let's see how easily Gauth Personal Statement Writer can help you to write a personal statement with a lasting impression for Johns Hopkins University application.
Step 1. Access Gauth Personal Statement Writer's official website, and select the "School Application" from the top menu bar.
Step 2. Fill in some of your basic information. For Johns Hopkins University's applications, do remember to enter Johns Hopkins University in the "Target School" input box.
Step 3. Click the "Start Writing" button to immediately generate a personal statement that is tailored to your Johns Hopkins University's application.
Tip: You can always rewrite your Johns Hopkins University's personal statement if you are not satisfied with the PS generated.
Exemplary Personal Statement for Johns Hopkins University
The first time I truly understood the power of scientific inquiry was not in a classroom, but in my grandmother's kitchen. As I watched her meticulously measure ingredients for her famous sourdough bread, I found myself wondering about the invisible processes at work. Why did the dough rise? What made it smell so distinctively tangy? This curiosity, sparked by something as simple as baking bread, ignited a passion for microbiology that has shaped my academic journey and led me to aspire to join the esteemed community at Johns Hopkins University.
My fascination with the microscopic world grew exponentially during my high school years. I eagerly sought out every opportunity to delve deeper into the field of microbiology. In my junior year, I initiated a research project investigating the effects of different environmental conditions on the growth of lactobacilli in sourdough starters. This project not only allowed me to apply scientific methods to a real-world question but also taught me the value of persistence and adaptability in the face of unexpected results.
The challenges I encountered during this project were numerous. Equipment malfunctions, contaminated samples, and initially inconsistent results tested my resolve. However, each setback only fueled my determination to find solutions. I learned to troubleshoot methodically, to question my assumptions, and to embrace the iterative nature of scientific research. This experience reinforced my belief that true discovery often lies in the journey, not just the destination.
My research didn't just stay within the confines of the lab. Eager to share my findings and inspire others, I presented my project at our school's science fair and later at a regional competition. The experience of communicating complex scientific concepts to a diverse audience was both challenging and exhilarating. It taught me the importance of making science accessible and engaging to people from all backgrounds – a skill I hope to further develop at Johns Hopkins.
Beyond the lab, my commitment to understanding and improving the world around me has manifested in various community service initiatives. Inspired by my research, I started a "Sourdough Science" workshop at our local community center, teaching both the art and science of bread-making to people of all ages. This experience not only allowed me to share my passion for microbiology but also highlighted the profound impact scientific knowledge can have on everyday life.
As I look towards my future in higher education, Johns Hopkins University stands out as the ideal environment to nurture my scientific curiosity and broaden my horizons. The university's commitment to groundbreaking research, particularly in the field of microbiology and immunology, aligns perfectly with my academic aspirations. I am excited by the prospect of engaging in cutting-edge research under the guidance of renowned faculty members like Dr. Arturo Casadevall, whose work on fungal pathogens has revolutionized our understanding of microbial threats.
Moreover, Johns Hopkins' emphasis on interdisciplinary studies resonates deeply with my belief in the interconnectedness of scientific disciplines. The opportunity to explore the intersections of microbiology with fields like bioengineering or public health excites me, as I believe these connections hold the key to addressing complex global challenges.
The collaborative and diverse community at Johns Hopkins is another aspect that greatly appeals to me. I am eager to engage in discussions and projects with peers from diverse backgrounds, each bringing unique perspectives to the table. I believe that such an environment will not only enhance my learning experience but also prepare me to be a more effective scientist and global citizen.
As I stand on the threshold of this next chapter in my academic journey, I am filled with excitement and anticipation. My experiences have shaped me into a resilient, curious, and passionate individual ready to contribute to and learn from the vibrant Johns Hopkins community. I am prepared to embrace the challenges, seize the opportunities, and make the most of every moment at this esteemed institution. At Johns Hopkins, I hope to not only advance my understanding of microbiology but also to discover new ways in which this fascinating field can be applied to improve lives and solve global problems.
Crafting a personal statement for Johns Hopkins University is a journey of self-reflection and articulation. It's your opportunity to showcase your unique qualities, experiences, and aspirations that make you an ideal candidate for this prestigious institution. Remember, authenticity is key. Let your genuine passion for learning and your alignment with Johns Hopkins' values shine through in your writing.
As you embark on this process, take the time to thoroughly research Johns Hopkins and reflect deeply on your experiences and goals. Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make clear connections between your background and what Johns Hopkins offers. Your personal statement should not only demonstrate your academic readiness but also your potential to contribute to and thrive in the diverse and dynamic Johns Hopkins community.
While the task may seem daunting, remember that your personal statement is essentially your story – and no one can tell it better than you. Be confident in your experiences and your voice. With careful planning, thoughtful writing, and diligent revision, you can create a compelling personal statement that captures the attention of the admissions committee and sets you on the path to joining the Johns Hopkins family.
- Johns Hopkins University - Admissions
- The Princeton Review - How to Write a Personal Statement
- U.S. News & World Report - How to Write a College Essay
- College Board - Personal Statement Tips
- Johns Hopkins University - Research
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6 Outstanding Johns Hopkins Essays That Worked for 2024
To get into Johns Hopkins University in 2024, you'll need to make sure your essays that help you stand out.
You may know that John Hopkins releases essay examples every so often.
And in this article, I've gathered 6 additional incredible Johns Hopkins essays from admitted students.
Whether you're a student or parent of an applicant, get inspired and real insight into JHU admissions.
What is John Hopkins University's Acceptance Rate?
Getting into Johns Hopkins is difficult. Last year, over 37,150 students applied to Johns Hopkins and 2,407 were admitted.
That means Johns Hopkins had an overall acceptance rate of 6.5%, or in other words about 1 in 15 students get admitted each year
Johns Hopkins Acceptance Scattergram
Luckily, if you want to maximize your chances of getting into Johns Hopkins, your essays make sure you have your best chance of acceptance.
For top schools like Johns Hopkins, your essays matter more.
What are the Johns Hopkins Supplemental Prompts for 2022-23?
This year, Johns Hopkins requires applicants to write one essay of 300-400 words in response to its writing supplement question.
Here are the Johns Hopkins writing supplement prompts for this year:
- Founded in the spirit of exploration and discovery, Johns Hopkins University encourages students to share their perspectives, develop their interests, and pursue new experiences.
Use this space to share something you’d like the admissions committee to know about you (your interests, your background, your identity, or your community), and how it has shaped what you want to get out of your college experience at Hopkins. (300-400 words)
6 Additional Johns Hopkins EssaysThatWorked
These are 6 additional Johns Hopkins essays that worked written by admitted students. Here you can read their essay examples and see how they got accepted.
I've also included some Common App essays written by admitted JHU students.
- 1. Runners Take Your Marks
- 2. Percussive Marching Arts
- 3. Constance Care Center
- 4. Governor's School of Science
- 6. Glowing Blob
#1. Johns Hopkins Supplement Example: Runners Take Your Marks
Prompt: Successful students at Johns Hopkins make the biggest impact by collaborating with others, including peers, mentors, and professors. Talk about a time, in or outside the classroom, when you worked with others and what you learned from the experience. (300-400 words)
"Runners take your marks, get set, collaborate?"
When one attempts to characterize the sport of cross-country, the term 'teammates' rarely comes to mind. More commonly, the activity is associated with words such as 'champion' or 'competitor', both singular nouns. Therefore, it is not difficult to imagine the extent of my surprise when, stepping into my first-ever cross-country practice as a lanky ninth-grader, I witnessed the sense of camaraderie present among the more established members of the team. Despite my acknowledgement of these runners as teammates, I held my opposing views of cross-country and of collaboration at the poles of my mind, convinced that the two were terminally incompatible. Stubbornly clinging to this black-and-white philosophy, I carried it with me throughout the season's inaugural meet, unaware of the burden that such a dichotomous perspective created. Instead of tuning into the motivated cheering of coaches, I tuned into the laborious pumping of my arms, resultant of the intensity of the race.
Opposed to focusing on the changes in pace effected by my teammates, I chose to focus on the chafing around my ankles, resultant of an ill-fitting pair of racing spikes. Intent of ensuring my own success, I willfully ignored the reality that, although my teammates were assuming the role of rivals, my teammates were simultaneously assuming the role of collaborators, purposefully striving to ensure the success of one another. Consequently, the competing teams engaging in cooperative conduct similarly happened to be the teams with the greatest overall achievement at that first meet.
While witnessing the success of collaborative teams certainly set into motion a transformation of my polarized perspective in regards to cross-country, the true catalytic factor materialized itself as the interactions carried out between my teammates and I. As the season progressed, and as I gradually gained awareness of the team's nuanced character, I noticed that the strengths of one teammate served to supplement the weaknesses of another. Where one teammate may have fallen short on rhythm near the conclusion of a race, for example, another teammate would provide a blazing final 'kick'. Equipped with a transformative understanding of team dynamics, I ultimately came to realize that cooperative achievement arises not from compromise, but rather from the constructive amalgamation of distinctive individual qualities.
As I toe the starting line of an undefined future, I will undoubtedly carry these indelible lessons with me throughout the entirety of life's most daunting race.
- Improve your essays in minutes, instead of hours
- Based on lessons from hundreds of accepted applications & essays.
- Easy and actionable strategies
#2. Johns Hopkins Supplement Example: Percussive Marching Arts
There is something intimate, almost profound, in mirroring the movements of about 14 people around you.
From paralleling the idiosyncrasies of a vibraphone player’s smile to the nuances of a marimba player’s wrist movements, it is difficult to achieve total nonverbal communication in a band’s front ensemble. The result, however, is an infinitely rewarding one; the visual mosaic we design — whether inside the confines of a gymnasium floor or on an expansive stretch of turf on a football field — is akin to the aural one we create as well. This tapestry, while ostensibly uniform, is woven with the gradations of every player’s physical form, their quirks quickly adopted by the whole ensemble.
Indeed, pantomiming and performing become one in the same in the stationary percussive marching arts. This mimicry demands a sacred conviction that every player will commit to maintaining the mosaic that we’ve worked so hard to build. The tense moment when each player waves his or her mallets above the board permits no hesitation; there is no room to confirm the camaraderie between players before striking the keys. We are forced to trust that everything will fall into place, and the tapestry will unfold as it should to captivate our audience.
I’ve learned a lot from playing mallet percussion across the ensembles offered at my school, but the most important thing I’ve learned is to relax, and allow the hours me and my peers have put into rehearsal take their course. I am a notoriously anxious person, obsessed with precision and perfection. Performing is anything but precise; it’s fluid and expressive. When the drum major counts off, I cannot worry about my stance behind the board, or if how much torque I am applying to the first stroke is the same as the person next to me. I must be unapologetically confident.
The faith that I’ve cultivated in my peers in creating this musical tapestry has translated to an increased faith in myself and my own abilities. No longer am I afraid to explore new talents, or take intellectual excursions into fields unbeknownst to me. I am free to teach myself anything, from the entirety of Claude Debussy's works on piano to the John Cena theme song on recorder. Indeed, contributing to something greater than myself has fundamentally changed who I am for the better.
- Make a Strong Impression
- Capture Your Unique Strengths
- Write Outstanding Essays
- ...and Apply Confidently!
#3. Johns Hopkins Common App Essay Example: Constance Care Center
Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)
Why This Essay Works:
This student uses vulnerability in admitting that they held preconceived notions about the elderly before this experience. The quote introduces these preconceived notions well, while the description of how this student got their job in the care facility is also engaging.
Admission officers love to see your interactions with others. Showing how you interact reveals a lot about your character, and this essay benefits from reflecting upon the student's relationship with a particular elderly individual.
What They Might Improve:
It is good to be descriptive, but only when it supports your expression of ideas. In this essay, the author uses adjectives and adverbs excessively, without introducing new ideas. Your ideas are more important than having a diverse vocabulary, and the realizations in this essay are muddled by rephrasing similar ideas using seemingly "impressive," but ultimately somewhat meaningless, vocabulary.
This essay touches on some interesting ideas, but on multiple occasions these ideas are repeated just in different phrasing. If you have already expressed an idea, don't repeat it unless you're adding something new: a deeper context, a new angle, a broadened application, etc. Ask yourself: what is the purpose of each sentence, and have I expressed it already?
It's true that almost any topic can make for a strong essay, but certain topics are trickier because they make it easy to write about overly used ideas. In this essay, the main idea can be summarized as: "I realized the elderly were worthy humans too." It touches upon more interesting ideas, such as how people can be reduced down to their afflictions rather than their true character, but the main idea is somewhat surface-level.
#4. Johns Hopkins Common App Essay Example: Governor's School of Science
#5. johns hopkins personal statement example: riddles.
Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)
As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?
The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.
One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.
As for the solution to the riddle at the start:
How many were going to St. Ives?
This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.
One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.
This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.
#6. Johns Hopkins Personal Statement Example: Glowing Blob
Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)
The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.
As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.
I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.
The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”
The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”
The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.
Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.
The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.
“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.
The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.
It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.
As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deepset unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.
One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.
This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).
This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.
This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.
What Can You Learn From These Johns Hopkins Essays?
If you're trying to get into Johns Hopkins University this year, you'll need to write essays that help you stand out and get accepted. These 6 examples of Johns Hopkins essays that worked show how real students got into JHU in recent years.
In this article, you can read and learn from essay examples responding to the Johns Hopkins writing supplement for 2024 as well as successful Common App personal statements .
Let me know, what did you think of these Johns Hopkins essay examples?
Meet the Author
Ryan Chiang
I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.
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