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Unpacking The Complexity of 'Love is Blind' Through Multiple Lenses

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Published: Jun 6, 2024

Words: 816 | Pages: 2 | 5 min read

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Psychological perspectives on love and perception, empirical evidence and real-world implications, sociocultural influences and counterarguments.

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• Relationships

"Love Is Blind" Analysis: Thoughts From a Psychologist

Is the hit show really testing if love is blind.

Updated July 5, 2023 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• Why Relationships Matter
• Take our Relationship Satisfaction Test
• Find counselling to strengthen relationships
• Falling in love may be blind, but staying in love and building a marriage may not be.
• "Love Is Blind" daters are not given enough time to make the ultimate decision.
• The show creates a pressure cooker of fear and urgency to get married and to become "enough."

The Netflix show "Love Is Blind" hit the streaming service like a hurricane. Fans wanted to know: Is love really blind? Can couples fall in love—and stay in love—without ever seeing each other?

The basic premise of the show is to understand if couples can fall in love—and follow through with marriage —without ever seeing what their beau looks like. Individuals on the show date in "pods," in which they can speak to, but not see, the other person. From there, daters can choose if they would like to go on more "dates" with the people they've talked to. In the end, some couples decide to part ways, and others propose marriage.

Once engaged, couples endure a series of tests, like living together, meeting each others' families, and planning a wedding. These life events are extremely stressful , even for couples who have strong relationships spanning years (rather than weeks).

Some couples found their love was "blind," and others did not, but was the show really testing if love was blind, or something else entirely?

Here are three problems with the hit series "Love Is Blind," from the perspective of a psychologist:

1. Participants are led to believe they are "not enough" if they don't follow through.

While participants search for love, the show implies they're also searching for their self-worth .

Throughout the series, hosts Vanessa and Nick Lachey make comments that imply you are "not enough" if you don't decide to marry someone you just met. Comments include, "Will you allow the opinion of family and friends, the allure of other people, and the distractions of social media to sabotage your wedding? To sabotage your happiness ?" And perhaps the most glaring example was the host's comment, "Will love be enough? Is who you are on the inside enough? Are you enough?"

The show somehow insinuates that the relationship (with someone you met a few weeks ago) does not end in marriage, it is your fault and somehow you are "not enough." Ultimately, someone's self-worth should not be tied to whether or not they decide to marry a particular person (on national television, to boot). Marriages should be a celebration of partnership, not a tool to prove your worthiness. In this way, the show deviates from the goal of love.

2. Friend and family member concerns just fuel the fire.

In therapy , there is a technique called "devil's advocate." In this technique, the therapist argues for the opposite position, so the client can come up with reasons against the position. For example, if you're trying to get someone to commit to therapy for a few months, you might say, "Well it sounds really hard to do therapy for that long; why would you even want to do that?" This puts the person in a position to affirm why they want to come to therapy. A similar phenomenon happens in "Love Is Blind" when friends and family share their (very valid) concerns about moving forward with marriage after such a short period of time.

The "Love Is Blind" participants have made a decision to commit to this marriage. When friends and family state hesitancy or disagreement with the choice, daters are put in a position to argue for why they should continue with the marriage. This phenomenon polarizes them to feel even more committed to the choice. This is not inherently bad, but it does make it more challenging for daters to make a balanced decision. Ultimately, "Love Is Blind" daters may convince themselves to follow through for the sake of doing so, not truly because they wish to marry the person in front of them.

3. There is simply not enough time.

Different people have different opinions on how much time is enough time to get to know someone. Some people believe "love at first sight" exists, and you can "just know" based on intuition , while others feel you need time to make a balanced decision about who to spend your life with.

Research shows married people knew their partners were "the one" after five or six months of getting to know them. The entire show spans about one-and-a-half months, which gives couples approximately four months less time to make a good decision. While some may argue that the show's accelerated process allows couples to go through the same steps at a faster rate, you cannot rush the time it takes to get to know someone and integrate them into your life.

For example, in the show, couples have a limited time together before they are engaged. It becomes clear throughout (particularly once the couple is living together) that couples haven't talked through important marriage topics like financial habits and goals , values, religion, or parenting styles.

Daters also aren't equipped to handle conflict with their new partners. When challenges arise around communication styles, age differences, or trust violations, the couples flounder. Instead of having conversations over years, discussions take place over days. Participants appear to feel this time pressure, displaying an urgency to resolve issues now, which adds stress and anxiety that can come off as anger toward their partners. The timing is simply not long enough for each couple to learn how to communicate and disagree effectively.

Falling in love may be blind, but staying in love and building a life together may not be.

Ultimately, "Love Is Blind" puts couples in a pressure cooker of romance, drama, fear , and urgency as they make one of the most important decisions of their lives.

It is clear that the issues with the show call into question if the experience is really testing if love is "blind." Couples may be able to fall in love, but the ability to stay in love and build a marriage is something else entirely, and only some couples manage it. Ultimately, the concept of love is extremely complex—it involves physical attraction , emotional intimacy , shared values, and a desire to be together. Love cannot be reduced to a single source, which is perhaps the biggest message from the show.

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Marina Harris, Ph.D. , is a specialist in eating disorders, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, sport psychology, mindfulness, and trauma-informed care.

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love is blind

love is blind ( metaphor ) /lʌv ɪz blaɪnd/

• if you love someone, you cannot see the faults in that person.
• a person in love cannot see any imperfections in the person they love.
• if you love someone, it does not matter what they look like or what their faults are.

Example Sentences

• I really don’t understand why Mia likes Chris so much. He’s very selfish and inconsiderate; and doesn’t even treat her well. Well, love really is blind .
• Everybody thought that Sam would not make a good match for Jill, but love is blind , and she was oblivious to all his bad habits.
• Love is blind , and it was so true in his case. The girl he was dating was obviously two-timing him, but he was blissfully unaware of everything.
• When you are in love, you tend to overlook the faults of the person you love as it is said that love is blind .
• Love is blind , it is said, but it is not good to completely close your eyes to the faults of the person you love.

Origin and History

The phrase “love is blind” has a rich and multifaceted history, drawing from literature, ancient philosophy, and modern research. Here’s a comprehensive look at its origins and how it has evolved over time .

Ancient Roots

The concept that love can impair judgment has ancient origins. It can be traced back to the writings of the Greek philosopher Plato. In his work ‘The Symposium,’ Plato describes the god of love, Eros, as being blind, symbolizing that love is irrational and beyond the control of reason or logic.

Geoffrey Chaucer

The earliest recorded use of the phrase in English literature is found in Geoffrey Chaucer’s ‘The Merchant’s Tale,’ part of his larger work, ‘The Canterbury Tales,’ written around 1405. Chaucer wrote:

“For loue is blynd alday and may nat see,”

It emphasizes the idea that love can obscure one’s perception of reality.

William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare further popularized the phrase in the late 16th and early 17th centuries. He used it in several of his plays, including ‘The Merchant of Venice,’ where Jessica states:

“But love is blind , and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit.”

Shakespeare’s frequent use of the phrase helped establish it in the English language and culture.

Modern Interpretations and Research

In contemporary times, the phrase is commonly used to describe the tendency of people in love to overlook their partner’s flaws. Modern research supports this idea: a 2004 study by University College London found that feelings of love suppress activity in areas of the brain responsible for critical thinking and judgment.

Thus, scientific research now supports the phrase “love is blind,” which has evolved from ancient philosophical thought to become a staple of English literature. It encapsulates the timeless human experience of how love can alter perception and judgment, making it a phrase that resonates across ages and cultures.

• love conquers all
• love makes the world go round

Share your opinions 10 Opinions

Love is not blind; it chooses what it wants to see or ignore, similar to how Jesus Christ forgives when you repent.

‒ Fred Vega March 18, 2022

I love Shila Kay. I do. (Veda too!) I’m astonished, dumbfounded and amazed all anew every time our eyes meet.♥️

‒ David December 10, 2021

Love is blind – not blind that u can’t see their flaws and faults but because you love them so much that you intend to ignore it and hoping for them to change in time.

‒ Kristine June 19, 2021

Love may be blind. Normally this condition is mostly attributed to the young-at-heart . It might even be described as “foolish love” by third parties. However because this human emotion is so deep, so unconditional, the “blindness” can be detrimental to the beholder. On the positive side, it will be a blessing as it moves one’s resultant sentiment to become tolerant and forgiving of fellow humans and of Creation itself. True love emcompasses all dark dispositions. Love lights up your life!

‒ Joseph Perera May 11, 2021

Only little pieces of what each of you said are true, which when put together reveals the majority of the picture but not the full version and the most important part, that few are afraid to admit because to do so makes them have the depth of a kiddie pool…love is not 100% blind because of people who put value in what they see with their eyes and put to much importance on physical features…it’s a funny dichotomy

‒ Anonymous December 16, 2020

Love is blind but marriage restored my vision.

‒ Marianne Jacob December 8, 2020

This is so powerful and it has helped me to realize the Love God has for us, no wonder He was so lost in love He died for us.

I’m blessed

‒ Anonymous October 9, 2020

I believe it when they say love is blind, because it makes people forget there selves in the process they get provoked to do things they never thought they can do all because of love.

‒ Mutale September 19, 2020

Love is as blind as we see and allow it. It’s always best to communicate with your partner and smooth out any uncertainties which may be kept inside us, only to explode in anger once stirred. Love is also said to be unconditional but it’s really with conditions , undeniably. Love is the greatest human emotion , partially blind and partially conditional.

‒ Joel August 30, 2020

Yes it is said that love is blind and I fully believe that but if you are like many people in this day and age in our society it can also be said that we are often blinded and can’t even see that the person who we love and feel like they don’t love us in all reality actually does love us . So sad but true that a person today is to blind to realize that their partner actually does love them and after all the jealousy and accusations argument after argument later on down the road they shamefully and regrettingly realize that they did love them after all but because of their blindness to let love in they missed it !

‒ April Grammer August 9, 2020

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Similar Idioms

• love of life

ESSAY SAUCE

FOR STUDENTS : ALL THE INGREDIENTS OF A GOOD ESSAY

Essay: Love is blind – A Midsummer’s Night Dream

Essay details and download:.

• Subject area(s): Literature essays
• Reading time: 3 minutes
• Price: Free download
• Published: 21 January 2022*
• Last Modified: 11 September 2024
• File format: Text
• Words: 789 (approx)
• Number of pages: 4 (approx)

Text preview of this essay:

This page of the essay has 789 words.

What is love? Love is arguably the most powerful, intense, controlling emotion we humans are capable of feeling. It’s random and surprising but unfortunately, it can also take you on an unintended journey full of risks; it can turn your life upside down. Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms especially nowadays as the times are changing and the world is becoming increasingly progressive almost as if our eyes were suddenly opened. This emotion, in particular, leads people to act blindly and make irrational decisions. This “blind” behavior also illustrates a lack of substance in a relationship based off of “true love.” Eyes and seeing play a significant role in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream. The love potion and its cure are anointed to the eyelids to change the feelings the affected characters have for one another and therefore cause chaos in the form of senseless humor. Playwright William Shakespeare incorporates the idea that love is blind throughout A Midsummer’s Night Dream in order to create humor throughout the comedy. At the beginning of the play when Hermia and Lysander are arguing with Theseus, Demetrius, and Egeus, Hermia proclaims, “I would my father looked but with my eyes.” Theseus replies, “Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.” Lysander responds to this situation by saying, “You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia’s: do you marry him.” Hermia’s eyes and her father’s see differently; Hermia’s are blinded greatly by her love for Lysander while similarly Egeus- her father- is blinded by his respect and favor towards Demetrius and refuses to give up his love for control as an authority figure. In Act 1 Scene 1, Helena says, “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” We can see the truth behind this statement during Oberon and Titania’s fight over Titania’s Indian boy because she refuses to give him to Oberon. As a result, Oberon takes matters into his own hands and orders Puck to inflict the love potion upon Titania’s eyes. Because she heard Bottom’s song, Titania had awakened and fallen deeply in love with Bottom in the form of a man with an ass’s head. She confesses her love for him saying, “I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. Mine ear is much enamoured of thy note, so is mine eye enthralled to thy shape, and thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me on the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.” This is hilarious because Titania- the beautiful, angelic queen of the fairies- swears she is head over heels in love with Bottom, a lower-middle-class weaver who at the time had the head of an ass. Later, in Act 2 Scene 2, Helena follows Demetrius into the forest as he chases after Hermia and Lysander because she fell in love with him. She says, “I am your spaniel: spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave to follow you.” Demetrius soon is also put under the spell of the love potion and he ends up blindly falling in love with Helena. The love potion’s effects are never lifted from Demetrius so he will forever love Helena when in actuality he loves Hermia who loves Lysander. Likewise, Lysander is put under the love spell and falls in love with Helena and promises to love her forever saying, “Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse:My love, my life my soul, fair Helena!” This messed up love square makes the play extremely comical due to its many surprising plot twists and as a result, keeps the reader’s attention. Shakespeare’s use of blind love in A Midsummer’s Night Dream showcased how love can make us do crazy things with amusing consequences. With Titania and Bottom, social status didn’t tear them apart because their love drove them so determinedly. This shows that love is blind, whether you are rich or poor. It is also humorous because Titania is royalty and Bottom is just average. It is ironic how love can be changed with the potion, creating a sense of blind loyalty. Titania blindly loves an ass, Demetrius and Lysander flip flop from loving Hermia to Helena and when Lysander is cured, he goes back to loving Hermia wholeheartedly. Helena feels like a pawn because she believes this all to be a cruel joke. This comedy shows the theme that love is blind in two ways: physical appearances and social statuses are overlooked and also literal blindness when the love potion is used on the characters to shift their love from one person to another. 2019-2-15-1550194818

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